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Knitting is Bullshit: A Cowl Story

After my brilliant go at knitting up a sweater for my poor not-so-little dog, I decided I might try something a little more straight-forward.

Hunting high and low for a pattern that it looked like I could actually follow without it being 100 inches of stockinette stitch I came across the lovely Aisley Cowl pattern.

But of course before I even got started I thought “that won’t possibly be wide enough!  I shall add an extra 6 stitches to make sure its extra… something!”  So I did, and went about knitting and knitting and knitting.  And as the amount of yarn I had left dwindled I realized that it wasn’t going to be long enough to get around my neck even once at the rate that I was going.

Seriously, its as wide as my head is tall. What the hell am I supposed to do with this?!

Obviously frog the whole thing, make a ball of yarn and start over with 2 less squares in the pattern.


My progress is pitiful so I didn’t bother taking a picture, but I assure you having to re-do this much work makes me not a happy camper.  But I do it because its fun and because there is something oddly soothing about the shhk-shhk of the knitting needles sliding against each other.

At least this time it isn’t something I can make an animal wear.



Skully Roses Dress: Results Edition!


I got married in it!

On a beautiful October day at one of my favorite locations in Georgia, we tied the knot and yes, I wore skulls and roses.

Sewing Sunday-ish: Dino Jammies Edition

Ozlin and Rusty’s friend Piggy has the CUTEST doggie jammies.  Seriously the cutest things in the world.  So of course I decided that Oz needs PJs because the last effort to clothe her Royal Chubness went so very well.  /sarcasm

At Wal-Mart I found a pattern for a doggie dinosaur costume for less than $1.00 so of course I had to buy it.  Jinx helped me pick out the pink fleece for her and off to work I went!  Yes, Jinx was my accomplice in this.

So I got about the business of cutting everything out to find I’d gotten about twice as much fleece as I needed.  “I could make a whole second one of these if I wanted to!” I exclaimed without irony.  This later would come back to haunt me.

I spent more time and care pinning this thing than I do most of my own garments.

I was pleasantly surprised that it worked up rather quickly and BAM! I was ready to torture the dog.  And torture it was.

I hate you, mom.

It was WAY too small.  The length from collar to tail was spot on, the width around her deep little chest was so very, very not.  I managed to get 3 of her legs in it for this picture, but there was a moment when I was concerned that I might not then be able to get it back off of her.  Don’t judge, we’ve all been there.

Miraculously, I had enough fabric to make it all over again.

So I did.

Because I’m a crazy person.

Adjusting for Super Chub allowance.

Surely, nearly four extra inches of ease across her back would do the job right.  Surely.

Surely not.

One pair of skin-tight fleece Dino-PJs coming up!

So versatile these dino-jammies with a totally unnecessary hood!

They were STILL too tight for her to wear comfortably, but wear them she did.  You can’t really appreciate just how much of her butt-fluff was sticking out the back of this thing.  It was ridiculous.  I’m starting to think that the animals would appreciate it if I stopped trying to make stuff for them.  Apparently, I’m really bad at it.  But its fun, so they will just have to deal with it.

Pickles remains unimpressed.




Knitting is Bullshit: A Dog Sweater Story

For some ungodly reason, I took it upon myself to learn how to knit.  I’ve always crocheted and believed firmly that you do not cross those streams.  But I knew plenty of people who did both so I figured why not me?

After a few (ok, a lot) restarts and putting most of the patterns I’d found into a Try-Again-When-You-Aren’t-Brand-New-At-This pile, I came across what seemed like a straight-forward dog sweater pattern from Lion Brand.  Cute, right?  Ozlin would LOVE a sweater, don’t all dogs?

So onward I plunged.  I didn’t want to just knit-stitch into infinity, so I did it in stockinette stitch with the help of ye old YouTube and Wool And the Gang (that I adore for its clear tutorials and general awesomeness).  Also I pish-poshed the whole knit a gauge swatch, I think specifically because the pattern called for it in such an unfriendly CAPS LOCKED text.  Rude.

Bam! Dog Sweater.

Things that I’ve learned about knitting:

  1. Do not drop stitches, you don’t know how to fix that shit
  2. Always try to use the recommended yarn weight and needle size, they do this for a reason
  3. ALWAYS (rude) check the damn gauge

Because if you do not obey Rules 2 and 3, you will spend a whole lot of time knitting something that is the wrong damn size.  Example:

Miserable Dog in Too Tight Sweater

Why won't you look at me?!

Luckily, Ozlin is a trooper and will suffer through anything that I make her suffer through.  Golly, she would look cute if the thing fit.  Poor darling, her fat neck was just oozing out of the too-tight neck hole.  She wore the shit out of it though for five whole minutes before the inevitable happened.

Rusty happened. He always does.

Of course I paused momentarily in progress to check my actual measurements against what the pattern said I should have and was woefully uneasy.  I knew it wasn’t right and had to force myself to even look at it.  Still I soldiered on, determined to complete a knitting project and swore that if the sweater didn’t fit Oz after all of my work, I was going to make a cat wear it.  I am a woman of my word.

Wrong time, wrong place, Pickles.

I think I will try some crochet.  There are a few things I’ve been wanting to make while I wait to get more green yarn for the Granny Squares of Doom and I could really use a yarn-win.

Tutorial Tuesday: Tote Bag Edition

I recently learned how to knit and decided that I needed a new tote bag to keep all of my knitting goodies together.  I found this tutorial and just loved the heck out of that bag but realized how little it was!

Just too stinkin' cute!

Behold, down in the comments of the original tutorial,  some gal had the same thought that I did and mathed out one bigger!  That was the one for me!

So Pickles and I dug through all of our scraps and picked out ones from my most recent dress making endeavors.

Pickles begrudgingly approves of these fabric choices.

The directions were fantastically clear and this actually assembled pretty easily!  I think I will be making more of these for each of my WIP yarn-craft projects.

Taadaa! Its like all of my dresses had a baby together.

New HoopaHoop!!

I got a new hula hoop from HoopEssence!   I am so excited!

Its my Zombie Princess hoop!  I think I shall make a Halloween Costume to go with this.

Sparkly, Shiny, and Glittery! I'm in love!

Rebecca DeShon is amazing!  Go see her for classes, hula hoops, general awesome and win!  This was just what I needed to get my butt back in the hoop.  Yay!  I can’t wait to go give this is spin.


Hair Flower Friday: Glitter Leopard Edition

Yes!  It was time to bask in more blood of the faeries!  It was glorious.  I shall be picking pieces of ichor off of my skin for days to come.

Leopard, glitter, and repeat.

I did this over and over until it was finished!  I still have yet to discover the best way to return the excess fae blood into its hideous container, but it seemed easier this time than the last.  Behold!

In all its Leopard Lily Gorgeousness.

I just need to attach the clip and she’s ready to go to her new home with the ever-amazing Rebecca!  I always forget how much fun it is to work on these until I am in the mess of it and knuckle-deep in glitter and glue.

Arsty Marco Shot

I’m excited to try this out on different flowers and glitter colors!  Maybe there will be a whole slew of pretties like this and I will be able to re-home them all to lovely cherries like you!