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Tag Archives: Yarn

Granny Square Afghan: One Year Later Edition

It may have taken me almost a year to complete, but Jennifer finally has her birthday present!  It was received with much love!  Not that getting a super warm and heavy blanket during one of the hottest weeks of the summer is a really good idea, but hey.  Shit happens when it happens!

This is how you love an afghan. (photo by Jennifer and instagram, stolen unabashedly for this blog by me)

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Knitting is Bullshit: A Dog Sweater Story

For some ungodly reason, I took it upon myself to learn how to knit.  I’ve always crocheted and believed firmly that you do not cross those streams.  But I knew plenty of people who did both so I figured why not me?

After a few (ok, a lot) restarts and putting most of the patterns I’d found into a Try-Again-When-You-Aren’t-Brand-New-At-This pile, I came across what seemed like a straight-forward dog sweater pattern from Lion Brand.  Cute, right?  Ozlin would LOVE a sweater, don’t all dogs?

So onward I plunged.  I didn’t want to just knit-stitch into infinity, so I did it in stockinette stitch with the help of ye old YouTube and Wool And the Gang (that I adore for its clear tutorials and general awesomeness).  Also I pish-poshed the whole knit a gauge swatch, I think specifically because the pattern called for it in such an unfriendly CAPS LOCKED text.  Rude.

Bam! Dog Sweater.

Things that I’ve learned about knitting:

  1. Do not drop stitches, you don’t know how to fix that shit
  2. Always try to use the recommended yarn weight and needle size, they do this for a reason
  3. ALWAYS (rude) check the damn gauge

Because if you do not obey Rules 2 and 3, you will spend a whole lot of time knitting something that is the wrong damn size.  Example:

Miserable Dog in Too Tight Sweater

Why won't you look at me?!

Luckily, Ozlin is a trooper and will suffer through anything that I make her suffer through.  Golly, she would look cute if the thing fit.  Poor darling, her fat neck was just oozing out of the too-tight neck hole.  She wore the shit out of it though for five whole minutes before the inevitable happened.

Rusty happened. He always does.

Of course I paused momentarily in progress to check my actual measurements against what the pattern said I should have and was woefully uneasy.  I knew it wasn’t right and had to force myself to even look at it.  Still I soldiered on, determined to complete a knitting project and swore that if the sweater didn’t fit Oz after all of my work, I was going to make a cat wear it.  I am a woman of my word.

Wrong time, wrong place, Pickles.

I think I will try some crochet.  There are a few things I’ve been wanting to make while I wait to get more green yarn for the Granny Squares of Doom and I could really use a yarn-win.

Tutorial Tuesday: Crochet Flower Edition

Tonight’s tutorial was brought on by a suggestion to add some cutie little black crochet flowers to my purple and black snood to bring the two colors together.  Since I ran out of the purple and adding the black was a last ditch effort to get it done without getting a whole new skein of purple luscious face-rubbing yarn.

So I found this fantastically done picture tutorial/pattern to make this little bugger!

Cutie-Crochet-Flower-A-Go-Go

So off I went.  Reading briefly over the instructions (more just looking at the cute pictures) I got started.  Shortly after starting, I had to pause to rinse the hair color from my hair and I just had to pause a take a picture at what step I was stopping at:

I'm not even going to say it.

So once the hair was rinsed and I stopped playing “What Does My New Shampoo Smell Like?” I got back to it.  Super easy, simple pattern.  Its going to be a win, right?

Wrong.

It looked like a totally depressing starfish, not a flower.  I supposed I should have read the instructions and not just look at the cute pictures.  So I frogged back and tried again.

Yes, I took a break to paint my nails. What are you, the Continuity Police?

At least it actually looked a little cute, if small.  So I see how the instructions say you can stop here and have a completely cute, adorable and perfect little flower OR you can make it a super fancy ULTRA FLOWER!

I opted for ultra flower.

This was a mistake.

Now it looks like ultra poop.

Maybe its just too much black and it would be cute if a) I actually got the right number of petals on the second layer or b) I made the second layer out of the purple of the snood to make them stand out.  But if I had enough yard to make cute purple flower petals I would have just finished the damn snood in all the same color and would have effectively avoided this whole mess in the first place.

Lesson: Quit while you are ahead when it comes to super cute crochet flowers.  Ultra Flowers will only cause trouble.

Snoodity: Part 2

Snood time!

I worked diligently on the lovely purple snood.  Hours were spent making little meshes and I put it down for the night.  The next day as I sat leisurely wasting time on the internet, Rusty came running from the craft room to the living room with something in his mouth and a looooooong strand of luscious purple yarn behind him.  He’d frogged the damn thing back almost to the beginning.

Thanks, Rusty

So we started almost over and caught up easily since by now I was well practiced in how to do the pattern.  Eventually I finished it with only a few more head-scratching errors and wonderment.  All that was left was to put the elastic in and BAM!  I’d have a new snood to sport and be all vintage-cute.

Right.

The only elastic that I have in the house is just too thick.  It doesn’t work.  Not even remotely.  I debated tying all of the random hair-ties that I have in the house together so I could try it out, but the smart part of my brain vetoed that.  So now I have a lush and lovely purple crochet net that is useless to me.  Unless of course I want to go trap small woodland elves who are already tiny living in a world of nightmares.

Elf Catching Net

I’ll be going to track down the right sized elastic soon hopefully and then maybe, just maybe I will have it complete and actually wearable.

Snoodity!

Say it.

Now its funny!

So I tried making one of these for RenFest this year and it was a disaster.  Like, completely.   Then I saw a beautiful, glamorous vendor friend  of mine at an event wearing a snood to perfection and asked her about it.  Lo and behold, the very same pattern!  She helped me figure where I went wrong and gave some tips to make it magical and I finally got some yarn to try it again!

Prepared for battle!

Frankly, I’ve never purchased such fancy yarn.  I keep rubbing it on my face its so lush.  You have to feel it to understand.  Or have worked with silk bamboo yarn before.  Whatever, don’t judge me!

So I’m gonna go watch some honky documentary that Jinx has been going on about and get started on this bad boy.  I’ll let you know how it goes!